This is part two of my “Glass Ceilings Grant Clear Perspectives” series. The first iteration can be found here.
Due to a growing sentiment of restlessness in my position from feeling overlooked at work, I’ve started to truly mull over my course with my current employer. I’m a part of a growing demographic in the US that seriously considers freelancing instead of conventional employment.
Forbes reports that 26% of employees are motivated but unhappy– meaning that like many others, I’m growing apathetic when it comes to my company but I still give 100% effort in my role. The study states that motivated workers like myself have good suggestions for improvement but are often disenchanted when it seems that their suggestions are ignored, belittled, or generally unacknowledged. I also currently reside in the city with the biggest community of freelancers and contract professionals (see chart below).
Image Captured from: 2018 Freelance Impact- Fiverr
As I fully contemplate this query, I feel embarrassed that at thirty-one, I truly feel like a feather in the wind blowing down paths waywardly. I am ashamed that I haven’t accomplished much tangibly and get told constantly that I’m too hard on myself for that shame.
Admittedly though, I’m high-strung and extremely introspective so a lot of this opinion is over-blown to some degree, but the sentiment remains: I feel like I should be doing more with my life right now.
There, however, are always moments that become catalysts for how we maneuver in tough situations and mine happened last week. That moment re-framed my whole relationship with my supervisor and granted the clarity that I needed to be aware of: I’m not as much of an ideal candidate as I thought I was. I don’t have enough time invested in the company yet. I also don’t have enough of a legal background for this specific role. Because this big plate of humble pie was placed in front of me, I have engorged myself on it. I have lost confidence in my confirmed abilities and forgotten about my own skill-set. Is it time to revert to my experts as a main source of income though? Should I really start to freelance?
It’s easier said than done when it comes to freelancing. It can take as long as six months to start generating enough revenue to take care of oneself through contract work and freelancing projects and services. In New York City alone, it was reported in Forbes that our metro area has 533,000 specialized independent professionals, the largest of any market in 2018. That can be a demographic that offers both great support with sense of community, and difficulty to enter successfully because of the many options one can take in that industry. It will take plenty of research and a platform to assist- preferably one with a vast consumer base and forum to exchange tactics and knowledge like Fiverr has to get the wheels turning in the correct direction for me if I so choose.
It seems like I can get the freedom of expression with acknowledgement of the value of my skills that I’m in need of with freelancing. This may be a fated move because my passion (writing) is becoming a freelancer industry in lieu of the current social landscape under Trump anyway. Perhaps this is the solution to breaking into the writing career professionally while breaking through my depression and anxiety, my lack of self-confidence, and the glass ceilings currently placed precariously above me at work. Let’s hope I don’t shatter my whole glass house while doing so. I pray this new perspective is a blessing in disguise.